Fairytale! How is it true?

Can fairy tales come true?When I was a little girl I always imagined I was Sleeping Beauty. Hahaha. I think it's obvious that even then i was lazy. Hahahaha. Anyway, I loved the idea that someone handsome, a real gentleman, basically someone perfect, would come and give me something amazing...A kiss.And everything would be ok. He would take care of me, be there for me every single day and every single night. I would be his queen, and we would forever be in love.But of course, like every dream, I had to wake up too. I realized that not everything we imagine can be magically turned into life. I realized that there are school buses, not golden chariots. Dirty mean boys who tease you while playing patintero.And as you get older, there are guys who'll promise to call, but never does. Guys who say they'll do anything for you but can't even come over to help you fix your... Well, something... You realize that life isn't perfect. And you should consider yourself lucky if your life didn't suck for two weeks.Little girls grow up too, right?But then even if we know that dreams hardly ever come true, still we can't help ourselves. Libre lang naman mangarap diba? But is it possible that someone will come and sweep away the bitterness of the past?Maybe, He did it.Somehow, He literally made my dream come true.

FUTURE! PAST! and PRESENT!

I have a story to tell.Once upon a time, my Past and my Present caught up with me. Both of them wanted a chance to become my Future. I couldn't decide who to pick.I contemplated about my Past and thought about the good times... The bad times... I thought about how much I miss my Past. All of the times that we spent together. How much there's still a big part of me that wishes he were back in my life to fill in the void that came about when he left.But also there's my Present.My Present is perfect. He is like the Prince that saved me from the bitterness of my Past. When all I can feel with my Past is sorrow, all I feel for my Present is happiness, laughter and security. I had once asked for someone to save me and I knew in my heart that he could. My saviour. My knight. My Prince.But why does the idea of not giving my Past a second chance so revolting?Days and nights I thought about what to do. I always thought about why I felt so alone. Why I felt so scared of the thought of being happy. I asked myself countless times, why I was even thinking about this. The Past who made you cry, or the Present who'd do almost anything to make me happy... I guess it was true that the only person who could make you stop hurting is the person who hurt you in the first place.When I saw my Past face to face, it all came flooding back. Right then I was ready to give in again. My Past wanted to talk to me. And I wanted to talk to him too. There are so many questions that I know only he could answer."I'm with someone new now," my Past said.I knew that..."Then I guess there's really nothing we should talk about," he said again.I guess not."Dammit!" he said. "Why are you so incapable of saying exactly how you feel? This is exactly what happened to us before. I tell you I was leaving and all you said was, take care on your way home. I never know what the hell you want from me! Do you want to be with me?.."I kept quiet. He was right. I never ask for what I want because I always feel like I don't deserve to be so lucky. And I was scared... of him. Scared that he might not want what I wanted. Or allow me to get what I wanted... Him."What do you want?" he cried. "Tell me you want me, and you can have me."What about your girl?"Come-on, you know it's always been you..."He was getting angry again. Then memories from before came back to me. That was the one, I was always so scared of him. I had told him that he was this voice in my head in everything I do, and that was exactly it. I always thought I needed his approval. I always thought I have to be better. I always thought I have to justify him being with me."What!?"I started crying. I cried because I knew this was goodbye.You really want to know the truth, my Past? I think it's time to move on. I think I shouldn't keep holding on to you. I think I can never love you the same way knowing it wasn't good enough that you had to leave. I think that there's better for me. Somewhere. There's someone waiting for me. Who I could be myself with. Who can accept me for who I am and didn't need me to ask for what I want, but should know what I want because he knows me. The truth is my Past, if you had to ask what I wanted, then you obviously are not ready to know.I stepped out of the car, still crying and walked toward my house where my Present sat waiting."What happened to you?" he asked concern written all over his face. "I'm gonna have a little talk with him..."No. You don't have to. Don't hate him. He didn't do anything to me."Didn't do anything? Will you look at yourself!" he held my hand. "I'm sorry, but you come to me broken, I get to hate the person who broke you. That's just how it is."Please... I'm really not crying because of him.I put my arms around his waste. And he cradled me, I can feel his lips on my ear.I'm crying because I know exactly what I want now."Tell me..."Just this. Plain and simple.

Everything Happen for Reason....!

Past mistakes. Funny how, when put together, those two words can conjure up feelings within people that they would rather die than re-experience. As human beings, we like to think that we've got things down, that we know how to deal. But do we really? Is it really ever possible to completely let go of your past?To tell you the truth, I'm not so sure anymore. But the past isn't the word that I want to focus on. What I'm talking about is mistakes. We make them every day whether we realize it or not. And throughout our lives, each and everyone of us will have a handful of very profound, life-altering mistakes that we have to live with. It's just the way the world works, and it shows us how very fragile life can be. When it comes down to it, you really have to think about how easy it is.People unintentionally create life and unintentionally destroy life all the time. But it's what happens in between that really matters. It's how you handle the situation, and the lessons you learn in spite of it. Regardless of how you feel about yourself, the sun is still going to rise every morning, and the world will still expect you to move with it. No matter how hard you try, you can't stay in one place forever.Eventually, you have to realize that whatever happened -even though it may or may not have been based off of poor judgment- was still just a mistake. No matter how much you 'what-if' and 'that was so stupid of me', there's still nothing you could have done about it.. because everything happens for a reason.Whether it be something grand like finding the love of your life or winning the lottery, or whether it's something painful like losing a loved one or ruining a relationship, there's still a reason behind it.I think the reason why people get so fed up with the "everything happens for a reason" saying is because most the time they can't see the reason for it happening. They're too concerned with worrying themselves over what they could have done differently to change the outcome that they completely overlook how the mistake affects the rest of the world. And I'm not saying that all reasons are pleasant ones, because obviously they're not.But even if the reason isn't a good one, it's still a reason and it still serves some greater purpose that most of us will never comprehend.I'm not saying that I'm an advocate of painful things happening just because they serve a greater purpose down the road, because personally I think that sucks. I wish that everything always had a good outcome, but hey, doesn't everyone?I'm just starting to deal with the fact that no matter what, there's nothing that ANY OF US can do about what mistakes we may have made in the past, so we shouldn't let them continue to dictate the course of our lives. And most of all, we shouldn't judge each other because of them. I don't care what happened in your past.I'm certain there were some horrible things that caused you massive amounts of pain, and that makes my heart ache to think about. But nothing that you did no matter what it was is going to have any barring on how I'm going to let myself feel about you.I don't care about your past, I don't care about your mistakes, I care about you and the person you are this very moment. After all, if you really think about it, isn't life just a bunch of moments? That's the way I see things.Therefore, anything that isn't happening right this second doesn't exist in my book. I'm not running from the past..I'm just letting it be what it is; the past.

Don't Afraid to Grow Old!

Many people are afraid of growing old. I'm afraid of growing old and boring. Many people are afraid of growing old, alone. I'm afraid of growing old, insane. Many people are afraid of losing their looks. I'm afraid of losing my dreams. Many people are afraid of losing their youth. I'm afraid of losing my soul.When you're 15, 35 seems ancient. When you're 35, 15 seems juvenile. A turnaround in a split second - two decades zoom past and before you know it, it's only a mile to the next millennium. Don't' fear age- it's a right of person hood. Don't fear death- it's God's greatest jest. Don't grow old - you don't have to.Don't date because you're desperate. Don't marry because you're miserable. Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior. Don't separate because you think it's fashionable. Don't drink because you have troubles. Don't gamble because you think winning is inevitable. Don't philander because you think you're irresistible. Most likely, you're not.Don't associate with people you can't trust. Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend. Don't try to buy your way into the kingdom of God. Don't dictate because you're smarter. Don't demand because you're stronger. Don't sleep around because you think you're old enough and know better. Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder. Don't sell your self, your family or your ideals.Don't stagnate. Don't regress. Learn a new skill. Find a new friend. Start a new career. Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back. (ohmygod) Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. (Ms.) Right. Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. (Ms.) Wrong because your biological clock is ticking and you can't afford to have your eggs harvested before the new millennium.There's always a mad rush to something, somewhere but victory does not always belong to those who finish first. Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions. You can't always go with the throng who could be wrong. Sometimes, you have to be alone to be enlightened.To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless. To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy. To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons. To keep yourself warm, buy a jacket. In the long-run, it will be less complicated and less costly. To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements - abusive friends, nasty habits and dangerous liaisons. Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty. Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family. Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you're not ready. Don't keep others waiting needlessly. Fall in love - it's the greatest thing on earth. But take care and remember, after the fall must come the rise.Go on that trip. Don't postpone it. Say those words. Don't let the moment pass. Do what you must even at society's scorn. Write poetry. Love deeply. Walk barefoot. Hold hands. Dance with wild abandon. Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you. You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except you.It is true that life doesn't get easier with age. It only gets more challenging. Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love. Pursue your passions. Live your dreams. Don't lose faith in God.Don't grow old. Just grow-up!

Adik ako! oo...! sa koreanovela nga lang!

***Putakte! Pagkatapos ng Jumong, akala ko aayos na ang buhay estudyante ko!!! Pagkatapos ng mga gabing magkandapuyat-puyat ako dahil sa mga salpukan at bakbakan, nandito nanaman ang bagong Korean TV series tungkol sa buhay kisaeng at ang pulitikal na aspeto ng kanilang existence. Hindi naman ako mahilig sa sayaw-sayaw at kilig-kilig, pero nararamdaman kong marami akong makukuhang insight sa palabas na ito.Siempre, bonus nalang na kyut ang mga tauhan. At isa sa kanila ay mukhang Pilipino. Ang pangalan niya ay Jang Geun Suk, ang unang makakatambal ni Jini sa telenobela. Marami pa siyang kahuhumalingan ayon sa nabasa kong synopsis, subalit kakaiba ang freshness ng batang ito. Bukod sa pagiging artista, isa rin siyang mang-aawit at mananayaw gaya ng total performer na bida sa Full House na si Rain.

***Sa pagtatapos ng Jumong, napakarami kong natutunan. Hindi maikakaila na masasalamin sa kulturang Koreano ang pagpapahalaga sa pamilya, sa paggalang sa mga nakatatanda, ang respeto sa katunggali, ang pagmamahal sa bansa, at ang epekto ng pulitika sa buhay ng mga tao mula sa hari hanggang sa kanyang mga nasasakupan. Marami rin akong nalaman tungkol sa damdamin ng isang taong umiibig, sawi, namatayan, naghihiganti, at marami pang iba, na sa tingin ko naman ay napakaganda at eksakto ng pagkakasadula.At higit sa lahat, ang aspeto ng pag-ibig na hindi pangkaraniwan sa mga Koreano-- ang homosekswal na relasyon ng dalawang dati'y mandirigma at ngayon ay mga ministro na. Ipinapakita rito na anuman ang kanilang ugnayan, sila'y nirerespeto sapagkat ang ayos at galaw naman nila ay kagalang-galang, at gayundin ang kanilang paggampan sa kanilang mga tungkulin. Hindi naman hadlang ang relasyon ng kahit ano pa mang uri basta malinaw sa kanila ang tama at mali, at kung ano ang inaasahan sa kanila bilang mga haligi ng bagong bayan.

Buhay Estudyante sa Mahad!

***Sumasakit ang ulo ko kapag pinipilit kong magpaka-intelektwal. Nireregla ang ilong ko. Pero sa klase ni Oca Campomanes, kailangan kong magpanggap na intelektwal para hindi naman ako mahiya sa klase. Hanggang ngayon ay wala akong ideya sa ipapasang kritisismo sa mass media. Sa Martes na ang pasahan, at parang imposibleng makapasa ako.

***Malapit na akong umuwi ng Baguio! Malapit ko nanamang matikman ang luto sa '50s Diner! Kung magawi kayo ng Baguio, subukan niyo ang brewed coffee nila. Ang sarap. Amoy pa lang, solb na ang ibinayad mo. Masayang tambayan iyon.

***Kaninang nagpasa ako ng aking maikling kwento kay Ophie Dimalanta, labis akong nagulat at natuwa sa kanyang sinabi. May kausap siyang propesor sa opisina niya noong pumasok ako doon.Ako: Ay, sorry po mam. Hindi ko po alam na mayroon kayong bisita.Ophie: Come in, come in. This is Chris, my student in Fiction Writing. He's one of the better writers in class.At pagkatapos ay napatitig nalang sa akin ang kausap niya na parang hindi makapaniwala, ngunit napilitang maniwala kasi kay mam galing iyon.Parang bagong ligo ang pakiramdam kahit pawisan ako sa mga narinig kong papuri. Pero inisip ko nalang na manunula si Ophie. Ang mga manunula ay sinungaling. At madalas ding mag-trip iyon.Ganun pa man, pinasaya niya ako ng husto.