Shopping Time!

yesterday i was with my friend, i called her the queen of plaza, which is spanish for mall. she knows everything. when she called me earlier that day i asked her if she is breaking her promise that she will not shop this month because her credit card is filled up to its maximum limit after she went on a shopping frenzy the past months. she said we will just look around. she wants to get this teddy bear that you have to dressed up, its not really pricey but the problem is you have to go to the store early if you don't want to line up because this shop is very popular and everyday its raking in thousands of dollars in profit. it seems the easiest way to the heart of any puerto rican is through a teddy bear. there's really nothing special about the store its the concept. once you get your teddy bear, you have to shop for his shirt, underwear, short, shoes, watch, accessories, hat, in other words its like baby shopping. which translates into dollar amount for the store owner. such a clever idea. later on that day after being in line for almost two hours for that teddy bear. both of us are exhausted, we had some pasta and strawberry shakes. i popped the question to her, not the proposal one, silly, i asked her what's the difference between banana republic, gap and old navy. she said in her matter of fact tone, if you are cash less and you want a shirt you have to do it the navy way. if you like to see cute ones, you have to go to gap, cause it seems most of their sales clerk is cute these days. and if you want to have the studio feel experience you have to trust the banana. but she warned me the thing with going with the studio feel, is that you have to pay the extra cash. it turned out she was wrong, i got a five dollar shirt at banana republic and i shed thirty five for a short at the navy. and that's when i lost her. i hate doing this but i reported her name to the mall's information center. and so she was in the lost person list. her description and name was announced in the mall's loud speaker. actually i was thinking of going to office depot, do a photocopy of her picture which is in my wallet and paste it on the walmart's missing persons wall right by the store's entrance, i was gonna do that next but minutes later she came to the information desk, was all red all over, with an embarrassed look, she said to me i should not have done that, i asked her done what, you were missing, i told her that i panicked, i looked all over the place and still i can't find her, i mean this is a huge mall, the biggest in the whole US, so what does she expect me to do but resort to desperate measures, she doesn't mind that her name was announced all over the place but its the description that bothered her she said i should have said nutrition challenged instead of the word kinda fat or she added i should have gone jenny craig patient. i laughed. i apologized. both of us laughed. what stops me from making another giggle is that she told me we have to line up again for those smiling teddy bears. which also means that we will again be stuck for hours cause the line would be literally outside the store by the time we get there.

Innocent!

the other day, i was in the city, walking through all the old spanish buildings which i always enjoyed doing, i saw this building with a powerful poster. its amazing how a simple face can create a strong impact, eden spa had produced a very creative campaign. from passerbys, they are sending a message that if we come in and use their spa and avail of all their services we will come out rejuvenated, with a renewed fresh and relaxed feelings. i hate first times, the first time i make out with someone i think i was already nineteen. i went through all my teenage years without even having a single experience of what it is and how it feels. it actually seems weird. it was my first time, and that person is much older than me. after that, i came out full of guilt. because i know someday i will look back and will hate myself for doing it with that person at that time in that circumstances at that situation and worst of all in that location. like wind, that person vanishes into thin air. i have never seen my first time again. rico is all sweated up. its his first time to. he keeps on fumbling through the dirty towels, he broke three plates earlier, brought the food to different tables, got a wrong wine to the wrong person. and worst of all, he bumped into a customer together with the curried shrimp he's carrying. he knows he will lose his job. but he need this very badly because he has a pregnant girl friend back in his apartment who won't go home to her parents because of the deed that they both did. rico asked me if i think he will be fired. i looked at him, and told him, not to worry so much. the night is still young, the restaurant is packed, lots of customers out there, if he made mistakes earlier he still has lots of opportunities to make up for that. and besides i told him, when i was just starting out, i made serious mistakes too. you did not break the glass in front of the customer or spill burning tea on somebody else's neck, but i did. i came home so depressed that night, luckily i did not lose my job, and i also realized that waitering is one of the hardest job in the world, because its not only bringing the food from the kitchen but its a complex job, there's so much things going on, so many things to remember and at the same time, you have to strive towards perfection, together with all the stress around you from customers, fellow waiters, boss and the kitchen people, its so hard. but you have to balance everything and be on top of it if not, you will go home with a two dollar tip. i pat his back. he smiled at me again. his smile reminds me of myself from yester years, that's the same smile that leads me to my first time, that i now regretted doing. few days ago, i picked up a mail. its a postcard from my old friend rico, he said he has two kids now and another one on the way, and to my surprise, he told me that he just opened his own restaurant and sheepishly admitted that he still makes the same mistake, wrong food on wrong table, shrimps on customers shirt.

Men's Rule:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are'OUR' rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!

A Simple Blog!

a simple blog.look at thestars! look how they shine for you and everything you do yeah they were allyellow i came along i wrote a song for you and all the things you do yeah itwascalled yellow so then i took my time oh what a thing to've done and itwas allyellowyou're skin oh yeah you're skin and bones turned in tosomethingbeautiful and you know you know i love you so you know i love yousocircumferencei wander aimlessly, my white wingsoutstretched to theedge of the world.inch by inch foot by foot i floatcloser to nowhere,closer to nothinga world reveals itself under me, asi observe withlonesome eyes.endless it may seem, this empty life ismore complete thatanything.the illustrious mountain top, with itssprinkle of snow and flurryof forest.emerging from the world beneathmy wings, she recognizes myexistence.that sole soul reaches out to me,touches me, knows me.themountain stands sedentary, yet tall and proud,her own existence visible.iapproach her, adore her, understand her,praise her for the gift she has givenme.i pass through her radiantlandscapes, every detail appreciated, allmemories cherished.my grasploosens as i drift further and further to whatlies ahead.yet on thispath i chose, i bring the knowledge that one day iwill return.returnto her, return from my journey through a now edgelessworld.....!

SPIRIT BOYS!

Sa lahat ng mga bagay na nangyari sa "BATCH '06, SECTION-ZAINAB" ay mga mga pangyayaring di ko talaga makakalimutan tulad kantiyawan, tawanan, iyakan, pikonan at sa madaling sabi "BUHAY ESTUDYANTE o HIGH SCHOOL LIFE". Mga iba't-ibang mukha na nagmula sa iba't-ibang lugar ang nakatagpo ng mga taong masasabing naging parte ng kanilang buhay sa maikling panahon lalong-lalo na ang grupong "SPIRIT BOYS", siyempre isa ako sa kanila!Siya nga pala ako si "HAMDI M. DAGADAS a.k.a. THOR" Nag-aaral ako ngayon sa "MA'HAD KUTAWATO COLLEGES" sa una ang kakilala ko lamang ay ang mga mga pinsan kong sina "MERHANA DAGADAS at "HAMIMA DAGADAS" Sa kanilang dalawa si "MHER" ang kasundo ko talaga! aanupama't tunay kong pinsan!Sa kalaunan ay nakilala ko ang isa sa magiging miyembro ng "SPIRITS " si "FAHAD BAYAO a.k.a. "JHONNY" siya rin ang kauna-unahang naging "BESTFRIEND" ko sa taga "MAHADENIANS" minsan nagkayayaan kaming maglaro ng "ON-LINE GAMES" amabait at matalinong estudyante si "FAHAD" lalo nong makilala ko ang kanyang pamilya! Sobrang masipag at masunurin siyang anak.Sumunod kong nakilala si "JOEHARI MONTERO" a.k.a."JESSEY" katulad namin ni "FAHAD" ay typical ding estudyante si "JOEHARI"; mahilig din siyang maglaro ng mga "ON-LINE GAMES" at "mag-SKITCH" ng mga "ANIME CHARCTERS."Si "MOHAMMAD ALI PASIGAN a.k.a. RED" ang sunod naming nakilala at naging miyembro namin sa "SPIRIT". Anak ng may-ari ng "PEPSI COMPANY" sa "CENTRAL CITY" at paaralang kapwa naming pinapasukan. Sa una ay naiilang kaming lumapit at makipagkaibigan sa kanya lalong-lalo na ako sa kilala sa pagiging "MAYABANG" pero yon din ang naging dahilan upang mapalapit siya sa amin! may mga bagay kasi na may pagkukulang sa kanya! tulad halimabawa ang pagtanggap sa kanya bilang siya at kung ano siya at doon lumabas ang totoo niyang ugali!Sumunod kong nakilala si "MONAIM ARAGASSI" a.k.a. "CHE". tahimik at simple si "MONAIM" ikanga "NASA LOOB ANG KULO". Hindi namin inaakala na magiging miyembro siya ng aming grupo!At ang panghuli ay si" MOHAMMAD FAHHAD DAUD" A.K.A. "DUDE" ANGAS! TARANTADO! GAGO! ASTIG! IYAN ANG UNANG IMPRESSION NG KLASE SA KANYA! pero sa lahat ng mga iyon ay naging daan upang matanggap niya akombilang "BESTFRIEND" niya! at siya rin ang dahilan upang matagpuan ko ang sarili ko bilang estudyante! masasabing B.I. (BAD INFLUENCE) siya sa akin pero tanggap ang lahat ng iyon dahil ako ay ako at di na pwedeng baguhin ng sinuman!Ngayon ay may buhay ang bawat isa sa amin! tumuntong din kami sa wakas sa kolehiyo! ang ang bawat isa ay tinatahak na ang landas tungo sa aming kinabukasan!

Some Question I asked to Mysel!

I got to chat with someone at G4M. I thought he's going to become a boring one, until we started talking about dating. He said that he hasn't been dating anyone for a year now, because no one's asking him out at all. However, he has no problem asking someone out, in fact he's always the one asking a guy out and he always wonder if there's something wrong with him on why hasn't anyone asked him out yet.*I asked myself the same question,*Why hasn't any guy asked me out before?I tried to analyze my situation and learned that I may not always be in the right place to expect someone to ask me out. When I'm not at home, I'm simply at work. But sometimes, I go to some places alone, like the mall or cinemas - but no one has asked me out. I am also alone when I travel to work and to home - and so far, there's one who bravely asked me out... however, just for sex - which I declined from.*Do I really need to be in a place where a number of gay guys or bisexual guys is concentrated?*Must I go to coffee shop alone and hope that a guy would approach my table?*Why does my crush at work never asked me to go out with him, even just as straight male friends?*Why haven't I asked him to go out with me?

No Quitting!

For Fahhad,Let me just start by saying that I have decided not to end this blog anytime soon. Thing is, I received a couple of messages on Friendster that made me reconsider my decision. I mean, yeah I might be busy but that doesn't mean I have to quit blogging. Also, my schedule is a wee-bit less stressful now so this'll give me more time to blog and catch up on other people's blogs. Oh, so many things happened.First, I want to say thank you to everyone who emailed me. I may have not been able to email everyone back but you guys know who you are. I also find that a lot of people are stressed from work these days and depressed. I take comfort in the thought that I am not alone. Fahhad writes to me saying that he is also going through a deep depression. I am no longer depressed but I know the situation he is going through. Depression is often disabling and affects a person's work, family and school life, sleeping and eating habits, general health and ability to enjoy life. It involves the body, mood, and thoughts and that cannot simply be willed or wished away.I sometimes feel that the adversities we go through are sort of "tests" as to how resilient we are. While some still function reasonably well, most who are suffering from depression will suffer from a noticeable change in their social activities and life, a loss of interest in school or work, and possibly drastic changes in appearance.Nestor, don't lose on this battle. I won and you will too.God has a reason for everything he gives us. To make you feel better, let me share a story. Earlier last month, I was told by a friend, Joemar Bayutas, that the organizers of the Miss Cotabato City contest would like to have me as host to their show. I immediately declined because everyone who knows me knows that I only host events that are within the Negros Oriental area, but Geri literally begged me to do it. It turns out, the director of the show was managing one of my fellow contestants in the Hari ng Negros contest and he specifically requested me to do it. Pagadian City is 5-6 hours from Cotabato City and is already in the neighboring province so that worried me a bit. I hate traveling alone. But since Edwardo and I go way back (he has done my makeup several times, including my farewell walk), I told him that I the reason why I'm considering it is because of him. So on the surprise birthday party that the Spirit Boys Organization held for me last September 13, I told Geri that I will wait for the confirmation from the organizers themselves.Weeks passed, and I got no confirmation so the thought left my head. But as of two weeks ago, I got a text message from a guy named RJ, saying that I was still hosting. This surprised me a bit, but I replied saying that if he could send me a letter of confirmation it would be great. I've been hosting events for a few years now (even way before Teen Bikini Open) and this is always standard operating procedure. I mean, I don't want to go there on the actual date and be told that I wasn't the host, right?Days passed and I still got no confirmation, so again, feeling that I was left hanging in the air, I let the thought slip my mind. But days ago, RJ texted me again saying that his letter was sent back by JRS and that my address didn't exist. I replied to him saying that my address does exist in fact this is where I usually receive my money order payments for my business. So I told him, he can simply email me the letter (up until yesterday, RJ has only communicated with me through text.)But again, two days ago he told me that the letter has been emailed (which wasn't because I kept checking my mailbox the whole day in search for the "letter"). It was at this point when I started scratching my head. Is this guy for real? Does he think he's working with a kid here? My show, at random airs Sunday nights and the contest is also on a Sunday so I needed my confirmation now. So I thought, maybe they found another host and now I can go back to my work. But I then received a text message from Edwardo asking me when I was leaving for Cotabato. It really caught me by surprise so last night, I texted Ali, asking him if I was still hosting and if I was, I would need the confirmation email by today, October 30. I'm not asking for much, just an email.It was at this point when he sent me this sms (verbatim): "D committee now decided NOT to hire you as host anymore.we hav done our best to send u d letter.we even had a copy from JRS noting that ur address is unidentifiable.you maybe one of the best hosts intown,bt then again,there are stil others we can get dat is mor down to earth,approachable,and easy to be with than you.thanks for your time anyway.and have a great nite!Vamos Cotabato!"I could not believe what I had just read.First of all, how can he say that I am not "down to earth, approachable,and easy to be with" when I still have to work with him? I have hosted a myriad of pageants in my life and organizers happen to love my work ethic -- and that's why I get rehired all the time. I still have to hear an organizer say that I am "difficult" having around. Edwardo, who I hosted for at the Miss Teen Bikini Open pageant knows me too well for this so I forwarded RJ's message to him (as I was truly humiliated with the language used by this guy towards me).It was Geri, after all, who asked me to do this in the first place.Geri replied: "Frnd, ru sure ur nt hostng na? Laina pd nila oi.Bsn na tense ra cya..Lacd pd oi.Dugay na btaw ko gasulti nla na e cnfrm ka.. Kana rj frnd,ang chairman.Dn ang ga sugest s c sony ang director,katng manager mr.Escalante lastyr n mr.Calatrava..Si Elmer ang nipatabang nako og convince nim0, sori gd friend. Bisan natola sila. not use on organizing big pageants, Hehehehe.! Di sanay sa presures.Sayangan gud ko friend.Sige lang ha!" Translation: "Friend, are you sure you're not hosting anymore? They are so mean. Maybe he just got tensed.. That sucks. Thing is, I've been reminding them for a long time to confirm you. Friend, that RJ guy is the Chairman. And the one who suggested you is Sonny, the Director. He was the manager of Mr. Joselito Dilao last year (Prince of Bikini Open) and Mr. Ariel Albor this year.. It was Sonny who asked my help in convincing you. I am so sorry, friend. Maybe they couldn't handle it. They're not used to organizing big pageants, hehe. Not used to pressures. I think it is a waste. It's okay, okay?"So that's what it is. I thought to myself, since when did being professional become unapproachable? He didn't have to use those words on me. I texted Samen (verbatim): "Oh cool. I only work with professionals. I think you misunderstood my request as being not 'easy to work with'. RJ, all I asked for was a letter saying I was hosting. That's for my own security when I get there. And oh, I counted myself out the day you made unnecessary accusations about my address. And surprise, you are still accusatory now. You are definitely down on my book. Bye."And that was that. Markenneth, the world is really full of mean people. Getting yourself down is what they want to see. Don't give them that. You will grow from this. Experience makes us stronger and more resilient and all this is is chicken shit, really. And when the going gets tough, I am just an email away.

Complicated!

1. I am complicated person. Yet, I believe I am fairly simple one way or another.

2. I have a liberated concept of what life should be. But our values are traditional, my principles are old-school thinking.


3. I am not perfect, and I don't even try to be. I make a lot of mistakes, but I try to learn as much from them as possible.


4. My weakness is my impatience. I am known as the impatient bitch. I hate waiting, and it often gets me in trouble.


5. It seems that I always fall for the wrong guys. It's either they're much too flawed to the point that I get taken for granted or too perfect that I can't measure up to their standards because of our own personal flaws.


6. I read to escape. I write to express. I dance to release.


7. I value acceptance. I loathe narrow-mindedness.

8. My favorite sin is vanity. For me it is therapeutic.


9. I laugh a lot. I make people laugh. People laugh at me. I laugh at them. Together, we laugh at life.


10. I'm not weird, I'm eccentric; I'm not crazy, only delusional.

Homosexuality!

A lot of young JackinWorld readers have concerns about homosexuality. Since our society unfortunately attaches a fairly strong negative association to homosexuality, many young guys "worry" that they might be homosexual, because they're interested in penises and perhaps in masturbating with a friend or relative. In fact, many of the readers who have admitted such an interest in their JackinWorld postings often follow up their statement with "but I'm definitely NOT gay," or something to that effect. This recently prompted one reader to write and ask, "Please post somewhere that it is okay to be gay. It is."I personally agree with the statement that it's okay to be gay. But things aren't quite that simple. It's common for young people to see things in black and white; something is either "right" or "wrong," period. People are constantly writing me with a concern, perhaps that they masturbate many times a day or that their penis is small, and they ask me whether or not they're "normal." But things like "normal," "right," and "wrong" are very difficult to define. I can tell people that masturbation is harmless and that many boys do it several times a day, and I can tell people that most adult guys' erect penises are between 5" and 7" in length — but when someone writes and asks whether it's "normal" to masturbate six times a day, or whether their 4" penis is "normal" ... well, things can get a little slippery. There is no hard-and-fast line inside of which you're "normal" and outside of which you're "abnormal." Nobody could accurately find the right place for that line, nor should they. In subjective matters such as these, we must learn to accept the fact that what's "normal" to one person may not be "normal" to another.What does this have to do with homosexuality? Well, I can assure you that there's nothing physically wrong with being homosexual. Most health-care practitioners today believe that at least some people, if not all, are born with their sexual orientation in place, and therefore are destined to be gay, straight, or somewhere in between. However, I don't feel comfortable telling people whether it's morally "right" or "wrong" to have sex with people of the same gender, because morality and values are deeply personal, individual concepts that each person has to figure out for him or herself during the course of their life. Even though I have no moral objections whatsoever toward homosexuality, I would not want to tell a very conservative person they are "wrong" for condemning homosexuality, any more than I would want them to say I was "wrong" for condoning it. Sexual preference should be, I believe, completely up to the individual practicing it. As soon as someone projects his or her own beliefs on the matter onto someone else, that person's privacy is violated, and rights are violated. I personally feel that an individual's sexual preference isn't anyone else's business (except the person's partner, of course). I also feel that if people would only adhere to this fairly simple concept, "gay" or "straight" wouldn't even be an issue, and many young souls wouldn't be tortured as a result.Now, that still doesn't answer some critical questions for many of you. Even in a perfect world, you still might be curious to know where you stand in terms of sexual orientation. Well, if you're younger than about age 20, I'd say you're probably still too young to assign yourself a sexual orientation, if you ever feel the need to do such a thing. Why? Because experimentation with alternate ways of expressing sexuality are so common for young people. It's not a good idea to set the course for the rest of your life if you're still trying out all of the options.Here's an example: A 15-year-old writes, "Just about every night, my brother and I take turns masturbating each other, and I really enjoy it and look forward to it. We've gone so far as to give each other oral sex. Am I gay?" Well, first of all, it would be foolish to say the activities you're engaging in are not homosexual by nature. Let's face it: No matter what your beliefs on homosexuality, two guys giving each other sexual pleasure is, by definition, a homosexual act. However, homosexual acts are not the same as a homosexual orientation. There are many situations in which otherwise-straight guys have sexual contact with each other because contact with the opposite sex is unavailable: in prison, on ships and submarines, and — yes — in youth. Teenage boys are just exploding with hormones, sexuality is fairly new territory for them, and often the only bodies around that are available to explore these new feelings with are other, equally curious and excited teen boys. That's why experimentation, such as mutual masturbation and sometimes more, happens so often. Are all of these boys "homosexual"? Of course not. As they get older, some of them get girlfriends and begin exploring their sexuality through the opposite sex. Others, meanwhile, continue having sexual contact with other males. And still others explore sexuality with both sexes. By the time they're in their 20s, it may be appropriate for them to think of where their sexual orientation lies — in other words, which gender they prefer to have sex with. But some people would rather avoid labels — they just consider themselves "sexual" and consider the person more important to attractiveness than that person's gender.Still, there are cases where a person's sexual orientation is clear from a fairly early age. If the same 15-year-old wrote and said, "As long as I can remember, I've been interested only in other boys. I think about them when I daydream, when I sleep, and I fantasize about them exclusively when I masturbate. Girls have never interested me sexually at all." In this case, I'd say the reader will probably, indeed, grow up to be gay. Perhaps he's already thinking about telling his parents, because these feelings pervade his life and his thoughts throughout the day. I think that's far, far healthier than someone in the same boat who denies his feelings, tries for years to convince himself he is attracted to females, and perhaps ends up getting married and being unfaithful to his wife by having affairs with other men. That person is living a lie — and that is a very unhealthy situation indeed.So, what do you do if you think you truly are gay but have serious moral objections to the idea of being homosexual? This is a matter of grave concern. Tragically, the suicide rate of gay teens is enormously high. But there is hope. Luckily, today there are many, many resources available for gay youth, especially in cities. There are also many such resources on the Web. You don't have to live your life in agony, denial, or worse. Talk to somebody and get help. Happiness and peace of mind can very definitely be in your future — you just have to be strong and brave and go out and search for it.As for the rest of you who are merely experimenting or just having fun, relax. You won't get "locked into" gay behavior just because of a few encounters with people your age. At the same time, though, it's important not to get too focused on this side of sexuality if there's another side you'd like to explore as well. Feel free to check out the various options, and then determine what kinds of sexuality you'd like to continue exploring for the rest of your life. As long as you keep your options and your mind open, happiness with your sexuality won't be far behind.

Chix Talk!

Dimataling National High School

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