No Quitting!

For Fahhad,Let me just start by saying that I have decided not to end this blog anytime soon. Thing is, I received a couple of messages on Friendster that made me reconsider my decision. I mean, yeah I might be busy but that doesn't mean I have to quit blogging. Also, my schedule is a wee-bit less stressful now so this'll give me more time to blog and catch up on other people's blogs. Oh, so many things happened.First, I want to say thank you to everyone who emailed me. I may have not been able to email everyone back but you guys know who you are. I also find that a lot of people are stressed from work these days and depressed. I take comfort in the thought that I am not alone. Fahhad writes to me saying that he is also going through a deep depression. I am no longer depressed but I know the situation he is going through. Depression is often disabling and affects a person's work, family and school life, sleeping and eating habits, general health and ability to enjoy life. It involves the body, mood, and thoughts and that cannot simply be willed or wished away.I sometimes feel that the adversities we go through are sort of "tests" as to how resilient we are. While some still function reasonably well, most who are suffering from depression will suffer from a noticeable change in their social activities and life, a loss of interest in school or work, and possibly drastic changes in appearance.Nestor, don't lose on this battle. I won and you will too.God has a reason for everything he gives us. To make you feel better, let me share a story. Earlier last month, I was told by a friend, Joemar Bayutas, that the organizers of the Miss Cotabato City contest would like to have me as host to their show. I immediately declined because everyone who knows me knows that I only host events that are within the Negros Oriental area, but Geri literally begged me to do it. It turns out, the director of the show was managing one of my fellow contestants in the Hari ng Negros contest and he specifically requested me to do it. Pagadian City is 5-6 hours from Cotabato City and is already in the neighboring province so that worried me a bit. I hate traveling alone. But since Edwardo and I go way back (he has done my makeup several times, including my farewell walk), I told him that I the reason why I'm considering it is because of him. So on the surprise birthday party that the Spirit Boys Organization held for me last September 13, I told Geri that I will wait for the confirmation from the organizers themselves.Weeks passed, and I got no confirmation so the thought left my head. But as of two weeks ago, I got a text message from a guy named RJ, saying that I was still hosting. This surprised me a bit, but I replied saying that if he could send me a letter of confirmation it would be great. I've been hosting events for a few years now (even way before Teen Bikini Open) and this is always standard operating procedure. I mean, I don't want to go there on the actual date and be told that I wasn't the host, right?Days passed and I still got no confirmation, so again, feeling that I was left hanging in the air, I let the thought slip my mind. But days ago, RJ texted me again saying that his letter was sent back by JRS and that my address didn't exist. I replied to him saying that my address does exist in fact this is where I usually receive my money order payments for my business. So I told him, he can simply email me the letter (up until yesterday, RJ has only communicated with me through text.)But again, two days ago he told me that the letter has been emailed (which wasn't because I kept checking my mailbox the whole day in search for the "letter"). It was at this point when I started scratching my head. Is this guy for real? Does he think he's working with a kid here? My show, at random airs Sunday nights and the contest is also on a Sunday so I needed my confirmation now. So I thought, maybe they found another host and now I can go back to my work. But I then received a text message from Edwardo asking me when I was leaving for Cotabato. It really caught me by surprise so last night, I texted Ali, asking him if I was still hosting and if I was, I would need the confirmation email by today, October 30. I'm not asking for much, just an email.It was at this point when he sent me this sms (verbatim): "D committee now decided NOT to hire you as host anymore.we hav done our best to send u d letter.we even had a copy from JRS noting that ur address is unidentifiable.you maybe one of the best hosts intown,bt then again,there are stil others we can get dat is mor down to earth,approachable,and easy to be with than you.thanks for your time anyway.and have a great nite!Vamos Cotabato!"I could not believe what I had just read.First of all, how can he say that I am not "down to earth, approachable,and easy to be with" when I still have to work with him? I have hosted a myriad of pageants in my life and organizers happen to love my work ethic -- and that's why I get rehired all the time. I still have to hear an organizer say that I am "difficult" having around. Edwardo, who I hosted for at the Miss Teen Bikini Open pageant knows me too well for this so I forwarded RJ's message to him (as I was truly humiliated with the language used by this guy towards me).It was Geri, after all, who asked me to do this in the first place.Geri replied: "Frnd, ru sure ur nt hostng na? Laina pd nila oi.Bsn na tense ra cya..Lacd pd oi.Dugay na btaw ko gasulti nla na e cnfrm ka.. Kana rj frnd,ang chairman.Dn ang ga sugest s c sony ang director,katng manager mr.Escalante lastyr n mr.Calatrava..Si Elmer ang nipatabang nako og convince nim0, sori gd friend. Bisan natola sila. not use on organizing big pageants, Hehehehe.! Di sanay sa presures.Sayangan gud ko friend.Sige lang ha!" Translation: "Friend, are you sure you're not hosting anymore? They are so mean. Maybe he just got tensed.. That sucks. Thing is, I've been reminding them for a long time to confirm you. Friend, that RJ guy is the Chairman. And the one who suggested you is Sonny, the Director. He was the manager of Mr. Joselito Dilao last year (Prince of Bikini Open) and Mr. Ariel Albor this year.. It was Sonny who asked my help in convincing you. I am so sorry, friend. Maybe they couldn't handle it. They're not used to organizing big pageants, hehe. Not used to pressures. I think it is a waste. It's okay, okay?"So that's what it is. I thought to myself, since when did being professional become unapproachable? He didn't have to use those words on me. I texted Samen (verbatim): "Oh cool. I only work with professionals. I think you misunderstood my request as being not 'easy to work with'. RJ, all I asked for was a letter saying I was hosting. That's for my own security when I get there. And oh, I counted myself out the day you made unnecessary accusations about my address. And surprise, you are still accusatory now. You are definitely down on my book. Bye."And that was that. Markenneth, the world is really full of mean people. Getting yourself down is what they want to see. Don't give them that. You will grow from this. Experience makes us stronger and more resilient and all this is is chicken shit, really. And when the going gets tough, I am just an email away.